So, here’s a quick excerpt from an update (the longest EVER) I sent home 5 months into our journey. If you are considering a move here, it might be an eye opener into what to expect. Please, don’t let it be a deterrent. ;o) I believe (as I’ll share at the bottom) that God has allowed us to experience much of this waiting for our own benefit… because there were some BIG lessons we needed to learn! (Or skip the italics and get to the point.)
March, 2013
We arrived back in October. We arrived on a Wednesday, and Hubby started work that same day. As a man looking to provide for his family, his number one goal was to get working! (And I'm thankful!) The kids and I did our best to settle in, but we quickly realized we weren't in Kansas anymore. We were suddenly on Africa time. It took 2 weeks to get our bank account sorted and HOURS spent at the bank. Only to find out they had forgotten to order my bank card! It took another 2 weeks (and hours at the bank!) to get my card. (They seemed so disgusted that I had full signing power on my husband’s account. They don't do joint accounts, and I still wonder if they didn't do it out of spite!) So frustrating! At least then I had money... Next came the phone. It took another 2 weeks to get my phone unlocked and a new sim card and all that jazz. So we're here 6 weeks and I finally have a bank card and a phone. Then the internet here at the house goes OUT. Completely. No service! So, while I can use my phone's internet, I have to be at the mall to get signal, etc. By this time, asking my father-in- law to take the kids and I to the mall, and then calling for a ride home, was getting old. The car hunt was also frustrating. I had visions of a 7-seater Land Rover doing double duty... around town during the week, trips into the bush on the weekends! I'd already found a roof-top tent rack and everything! (I hate camping in tents, BTW!) We were going to be living the dream... Only reality hit. (Car expenses! Repairs, Fuel…). So, Hubby suggested we look at some mini-vans. No big deal. It's what I drove at home. But wait! Now we are dealing with all the Japanese mini-vans. Suddenly we are looking at these clown cars with no knee space... and I don't know why Kia chose to use rats for their add campaign, but every time I sat in one of those cars I felt like we were a family of rapping rats. Anyway, we finally found (what I considered to be an acceptable compromise) an Opel Zafira. It's a Station Wagon with roof racks. Anyway, it does the job. We can haul 7 when needed, but we usually have the back seats down and I have plenty of room for luggage or groceries. It's not sexy, it's not "African-rugged" but it suits this mom's needs.
So anyway, that brings us to December when I found myself 2 months into this journey, with a bank card, a cell phone, and wheels! Woo-Hoo! I began to explore the area and get to know my roads (which side of the road to drive on) and also had my independence back. I also had an escape. When things got a little hairy here at the in-law’s house, I'd take the kids and go for a drive. But this was also 2 weeks away from Christmas. And it was MY family's year for Christmas. So as they all got together, I sat here trying not to feel sorry for myself and to make the best of it. Our container arrived and we put all our belongings into storage. I took our box of Christmas decorations and brought it back to the house. But it sat in the box. I wanted to decorate, but it's not my house... To set up a Christmas tree, the LR needed to be rearranged.... but it's not my house. And much of this wasn't in Hubby’s power to intervene. It was so frustrating, but poor Hubs was working LONG hours as its summer here and everyone wanted their job finished before Christmas. It was hectic. I felt sad in a way that my kids were being (as I saw it) robbed of what Christmas should be like. (i.e. MY way of doing things. :o)) There were no festivities, no decorated house, no special memories being created... We were able to take the kids to Carols by Candlelight at a historic wine farm near the house, and that was very special. I remember that night realizing I had to let it go. I couldn't control this, and it was just ONE year. So I took a deep breath and (tried to) let it go.
As the weeks began to pass, another stress entered the picture. Hubby and I had decided a year ago to home-school. That decision has made a lot of work for me, but it has been so rewarding! It's eased the transition for the kids, and there is just so much more to it. I'm so thankful we made this decision. BUT, as we looked at the job situation we began to wonder what was next. Almost everyone we know here is a two-income household. In fact, when people say they can't afford to stay at home, it's not because they'd have to turn off the cable... it's seriously hard to earn enough to support your family. I'll gladly go without cable, but the reality is, we need our own home. Living with the in-laws was only meant to be temporary... it's not healthy for a marriage or for our family dynamic. So, if it meant that I need to go back to work, then so be it. God's in charge, and He has the plan. We truly felt that Homeschooling was GOD's answer to our family's needs, so either God would provide a job for us that would allow this to continue, or else I needed to accept that it was for a place and time, and NOW things would change. But I wrestled with this. I cried, I pleaded, I begged. (All to GOD. :o)) I surrendered.
Lessons Along the Way…
Have you noticed a trend? Patience… disappointment, surrender. Patience…disappointment, surrender..
You see, we moved here on a Spiritual Mountain Top. God was leading, speaking, paving the way. We moved here at the top of the Ferris Wheel. We could see clearly. We could see the “Big Picture” as it pertained to moving here. But no sooner did we turn the corner, than things began to get foggy. We began to get restless. Impatient. We became children again, pestering our Heavenly Father with “Are we there yet?” and “How much longer?”… And no answer came. He hadn’t left us. We were assured of His presence in our lives. We know His great love for us. And since I don’t believe God ignores us… then He was telling us to WAIT.
But waiting isn’t fun. I wanted back on the mountain top. I remember thinking “But God! It would be such a great testimony if all our friends could see how you Super-Naturally provide us with everything we need!” (add.. nice house, nice cars, nice job…) Friends, the testimony… the light of Christ shining through us, should be all the greater when we live His Truths out through the hard times. God is NOT providing the house we thought He would. “PRAISE GOD!” God is NOT providing that Land Rover. (Really, that’s a silly one… But I thought it.) God is NOT providing a job that earns enough to support our family. “PRAISE GOD ANYWAY!” We see our savings dwindling away… “Thank you LORD for providing that money for us for during this time of waiting!!” I’m scared. How long until we find ourselves homeless? “Thank you LORD, for providing us with a family who loves us, and would take us in if necessary. We need never be homeless.”
Hindsight. God is good, all the time. But sometimes… well, sometimes it’s only when we are able to look back at lessons we’ve learned through the hard times that we can see what God needed to teach us… what He needed us to surrender, in order to fulfil HIS purpose. In us, through us… however it suits HIS Master Plan.
It’s not too hard to trust God when everything is going right. But to trust Him when everything is going wrong… to trust Him when you can no longer see the Big Picture… That’s hard. That takes time. It needs to be taught through really difficult circumstances, some times.
In the hindsight a year has brought, I can now see that God blessed us by NOT allowing us to buy a house. As more pieces of that BIG Picture are revealed, we can see why God was saying “No.” With it brings a sort of humility… I wish I’d trusted Him more. He DID have a plan. This was for my GOOD!
Of COURSE it was!
I wish I hadn’t been so petty, so childish. And I come before my Heavenly Father and ask His forgiveness. I ask Him to help me to retain these lessons… So that when we are flying high, at the top of the Ferris Wheel again, we’ll do a better job the next time around. Appreciate more, trust more, love more…
But more importantly, when we find ourselves at the bottom, to Trust without doubting, Pray without Ceasing, and to live that life at the bottom with JOY! God’s GOT THIS!
