A few weeks ago we experienced “the” dreaded wake up call… The phone ringing in the middle of the night. We live 10,000 miles away from my husband’s parents, and it was on a Thursday that we got that dreaded call. My Mother-in-law was in the hospital with chest pains. We were assured that we didn’t need to rush back to South Africa, that she would be fine… And so we began praying.
Two of her 4 heart compartments weren’t working properly, making the other two work overtime. The Doctors started blood transfusions to help ease her breathing. My Mother-in-law suffers from anxiety, and this wasn’t helping. We were scared.
Two days later we were told that Mom was losing blood, but that the doctor’s weren’t sure where it was going. They had run tests, but nothing had been conclusive, so they began doing more extensive blood work. It was so frustrating as we waited, and the doctors treated all the effects, while still clueless as to the cause. (I’d better insert here that while South Africa is considered a third world country, she was being treated in a “first world” hospital, being given the best care. We are so thankful for those Doctors and Nurses.)
Due to a cancer scare a couple years ago, Mom’s 1 kidney was removed. With only 1 kidney left to process all the meds in her blood, they moved her to the ICU in order to put her on the dialysis. This allowed the machine to assist/take over for the 1 kidney and get the excess fluid off of her lungs. During this process the doctors discovered where all that lost blood had gone… her lungs. She had been close to suffocating when they caught it. Then she developed pneumonia and an infection in her lungs. Her kidney quit working, so they put her back on the machine. Through it all, she kept fighting to live! We were so thankful for her desire to fight! Obviously it’s not in any of our hands, but we just didn’t want her to give up!
We got the phone call on the Saturday morning asking Hubby to come to his Mom’s bedside as quick as he could. We secured his buddy’s pass by noon, and got a seat on the 8:30pm flight. There were plenty of seats, so although a buddy pass flies standby, we had no concerns that he wouldn’t make the flight. In fact, all went as planned. I dropped him at the airport, he made the flight. And then the flight was delayed. And delayed again. Then the pilots timed-out, so they had to get new pilots. By the time the pilots arrived, the Flight Attendants timed-out. (FAA Regulations.) They couldn’t find replacements, so at 2am, the flight was officially cancelled. I got the call, and had to drag both kids out of bed, put them and their blankets in the car, and go pick Hubby up from the airport. We laid around the house on Sunday in a panicked blur. The fear was overwhelming, and we had no control over anything. My Dad offered to pay for any flight we could find, but Delta had closed all ticket sales in order to accommodate all the displaced passengers, so the only flights available flew via somewhere, cost $6-$7K, and only arrived on Wednesday after all the lay-over's. Our best option remained flying standby on that evening’s flight. But knowing that every single passenger that had been on the previous night’s cancelled flight was also rebooking, and as we had a stand-by ticket, our chances of making the flight were impossible odds. We even talked about whether or not we should even go to the airport… maybe we should just wait for the Monday flight when our odds seemed better. But how could we sit there begging God for a Miracle, and then with such lack of Faith, not even bother to show up to see Him perform that Miracle? We had done everything in OUR power. But in our weakness, God's glory is only magnified.
There were 15 paid passengers, and 6 standby passengers ahead of him on the list when he checked in. That’s 21 people without seats, BEFORE he could get on. (His plan B was either flying through Amsterdam, Paris, or Nigeria, catching a connection, but only arriving Wednesday. With layovers we were looking at over 48 hours of travel time!! That, and he was told if he flew through Nigeria he'd never see his baggage again. EEK! Another Praise!! No Nigeria!!) I was waiting in the restaurant area of the airport when he called me to say he’d made the flight. I never thought I’d hear hubby praise God for a middle seat, but if ever there was a time, this was IT!
Hubby arrived in Cape Town around 10pm local time the following day and went straight to the hospital and to his mom’s bedside. Praise!!
Tests came back that showed that Mom had a very rare liver disease. They were able to start treating the actual problem. Our SA doctor was able to talk to some of his colleagues at Harvard Medical to confirm that he was giving the correct treatment. (He was. :o)) It turns out, she’d had the disease for a long time, and it had worn down her immune system. So when she caught the cold, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Her heart failed, her lungs, kidney, liver… all her organs! Hubby extended his stay to make sure his mom was on the mend before he came home again. He was gone for two weeks.
During that time, I was at home with the kids. Crying. Praying. Pacing. Eating. Hoping… And trying to be normal for my kids.
One morning I was praying for my MIL at the kitchen table while my little girl was coloring. I got up to get some tissue. As I came back I heard a funny noise... My Princess was sitting there with eyes closed, hands folded and in a VERY high voice (that I assume is what I sounded like to her as I cried/prayed) she was saying "Dear Lord, pwease be wif Ouma. We're scarwed." so sweet!
We sent this photo to encourage and lift her spirits. (Girly makes this face when I say “smile.” :o))
Those first few days after Hubby left were so emotional. Thankfully Goose was still in Preschool, so I would drop him off, come home and turn on the cartoons for my daughter, sit at my kitchen table, cry and pray. Drink Coffee. Cry and Pray. And then I would pick him up again. I would pace the hallway, I stocked up on carrots and apples as I’m a stress eater and just needed the activity. My phone can’t call SA. Most of the time the family was in the ICU and not allowed cell phones, so I had no way of knowing what was going on. I had my two babies to look after, and they couldn’t just watch tv all day. But all I could do was cry, pray, pace and chomp on carrots. And then came my friends… Oh my goodness! The ARMY of dear friends who came marching along to help. I’ve had friends in similar situations, and I prayed for them. I’d ask how they were when I saw them, proud of myself for remembering to ask. It was humbling to see how to truly be a friend in these situations! Dinner arrived one night, another friend watched my daughter for a play date allowing me a break, the phone calls, emails, texts… It was never ending. I was so surrounded by love and support. I thank God for these dear people, and only hope that I retain the lesson I learned about how to be a friend in such a situation. Was I capable of cooking? YES. Was I capable of watching my kids? YES. But they did it anyway, and by doing so, they blessed me more than words could ever say. They hugged me, and I needed it!
Meanwhile, Mom was fighting for her life in the ICU. She no longer knew when it was day or night, slept poorly, and was constantly bombarded with new cases being rushed into the ward, and seeing those who didn't make it wheeled out… We prayed that God would lift her spirits, and that just as in the beginning He separated the night from the day, we prayed that he would do the same for my Mother-in-law’s mind and allow her to sleep.
Due to the treatments, her immune system was very weak. In the ICU ward she was very susceptible to catching any of those germs, so the doctors were anxious to move her to a private room as soon as she was able.
We made this card for mom. My sister-in-law printed it out, folded it in half and laminated it. Then, the nurses could turn it around for when it was night time or when it way day time. While we didn’t expect it to help, we hoped it would cheer her spirits.
One beautiful thing Hubby shared with me the same day we sent this; His mom told him she'd been clinging to Psalm 139 and asked him to please read it to her. I was deeply moved by how perfectly it pertained to this particular situation, (God knowing her innermost workings... Separating the Night from Day...) I am also so thankful that she had this piece of God's Word written on her heart, that while she lay on that hospital bed, she was never alone, because God was speaking these very words to her. As children we are told to "hide God's Word in our hearts." But the beauty of how God used those words to comfort her... I am constantly amazed by His goodness!
The next two weeks we saw ups and downs in Mom’s recovery. There were a few steps forward and then a couple back. Hubby extended his ticket and was able to stay a full two weeks, leaving only after the Doctors assured him Mom was back on the road to recovery. And I guess that is what we’ve realized along the way… that it’s called a “Road to Recovery” because it’s a journey, not a snapping of the fingers.
My Mother-in-law was released from the hospital this morning and is back at home!! Her kidney is still not working, so she'll be going to the hospital 3 times a week for dialysis, but she is making progress! There is still the chance her kidney will kick back in, and so we continue to pray for complete healing.
While we will continue to dread that middle of the night phone call, we are so thankful to our Heavenly Father for the many blessings He has shown us through this ordeal. For how He has held us in His hands, comforted my Mother-in-law, and for the many miracles we witnessed along the way.
We are thankful for the new direction we believe that God is leading OUR family. We continue to pray about this, and will hopefully have more to post in the future.
(And Bear)
