Life is Like a Ferris Wheel...

So, here’s a quick excerpt from an update (the longest EVER) I sent home 5 months into our journey.  If you are considering a move here, it might be an eye opener into what to expect.  Please, don’t let it be a deterrent.  ;o)  I believe (as I’ll share at the bottom) that God has allowed us to experience much of this waiting for our own benefit… because there were some BIG lessons we needed to learn! (Or skip the italics and get to the point.)

March, 2013
We arrived back in October.  We arrived on a Wednesday, and Hubby started work that same day.  As a man looking to provide for his family, his number one goal was to get working!  (And I'm thankful!)  The kids and I did our best to settle in, but we quickly realized we weren't in Kansas anymore.  We were suddenly on Africa time.  It took 2 weeks to get our bank account sorted and HOURS spent at the bank.  Only to find out they had forgotten to order my bank card!  It took another 2 weeks (and hours at the bank!) to get my card.  (They seemed so disgusted that I had full signing power on my husband’s account.  They don't do joint accounts, and I still wonder if they didn't do it out of spite!)  So frustrating!  At least then I had money... Next came the phone.  It took another 2 weeks to get my phone unlocked and a new sim card and all that jazz.  So we're here 6 weeks and I finally have a bank card and a phone.  Then the internet here at the house goes OUT.  Completely.  No service!  So, while I can use my phone's internet, I have to be at the mall to get signal, etc.  By this time, asking my father-in- law to take the kids and I to the mall, and then calling for a ride home, was getting old.  The car hunt was also frustrating.  I had visions of a 7-seater Land Rover doing double duty... around town during the week, trips into the bush on the weekends!  I'd already found a roof-top tent rack and everything!  (I hate camping in tents, BTW!) We were going to be living the dream... Only reality hit.  (Car expenses! Repairs, Fuel…).  So, Hubby suggested we look at some mini-vans.  No big deal.  It's what I drove at home.  But wait!  Now we are dealing with all the Japanese mini-vans.  Suddenly we are looking at these clown cars with no knee space... and I don't know why Kia chose to use rats for their add campaign, but every time I sat in one of those cars I felt like we were a family of rapping rats.  Anyway, we finally found (what I considered to be an acceptable compromise) an Opel Zafira.  It's a Station Wagon with roof racks.  Anyway, it does the job.  We can haul 7 when needed, but we usually have the back seats down and I have plenty of room for luggage or groceries.  It's not sexy, it's not "African-rugged" but it suits this mom's needs.
So anyway, that brings us to December when I found myself 2 months into this journey, with a bank card, a cell phone, and wheels!  Woo-Hoo!  I began to explore the area and get to know my roads (which side of the road to drive on) and also had my independence back.  I also had an escape.  When things got a little hairy here at the in-law’s house, I'd take the kids and go for a drive.  But this was also 2 weeks away from Christmas.  And it was MY family's year for Christmas.  So as they all got together, I sat here trying not to feel sorry for myself and to make the best of it.  Our container arrived and we put all our belongings into storage.  I took our box of Christmas decorations and brought it back to the house.  But it sat in the box.  I wanted to decorate, but it's not my house... To set up a Christmas tree, the LR needed to be rearranged.... but it's not my house.  And much of this wasn't in Hubby’s power to intervene.  It was so frustrating, but poor Hubs was working LONG hours as its summer here and everyone wanted their job finished before Christmas.  It was hectic.  I felt sad in a way that my kids were being (as I saw it) robbed of what Christmas should be like. (i.e. MY way of doing things.  :o)) There were no festivities, no decorated house, no special memories being created... We were able to take the kids to Carols by Candlelight at a historic wine farm near the house, and that was very special.  I remember that night realizing I had to let it go.  I couldn't control this, and it was just ONE year.  So I took a deep breath and (tried to) let it go.
As the weeks began to pass, another stress entered the picture.  Hubby and I had decided a year ago to home-school.  That decision has made a lot of work for me, but it has been so rewarding!  It's eased the transition for the kids, and there is just so much more to it.  I'm so thankful we made this decision.  BUT, as we looked at the job situation we began to wonder what was next.  Almost everyone we know here is a two-income household.  In fact, when people say they can't afford to stay at home, it's not because they'd have to turn off the cable... it's seriously hard to earn enough to support your family.  I'll gladly go without cable, but the reality is, we need our own home.  Living with the in-laws was only meant to be temporary... it's not healthy for a marriage or for our family dynamic.  So, if it meant that I need to go back to work, then so be it.  God's in charge, and He has the plan.  We truly felt that Homeschooling was GOD's answer to our family's needs, so either God would provide a job for us that would allow this to continue, or else I needed to accept that it was for a place and time, and NOW things would change.  But I wrestled with this.  I cried, I pleaded, I begged. (All to GOD. :o)) I surrendered.

Lessons Along the Way…
Have you noticed a trend?  Patience… disappointment, surrender.  Patience…disappointment, surrender..
You see, we moved here on a Spiritual Mountain Top.  God was leading, speaking, paving the way.  We moved here at the top of the Ferris Wheel.  We could see clearly.  We could see the “Big Picture” as it pertained to moving here.  But no sooner did we turn the corner, than things began to get foggy.  We began to get restless.  Impatient.  We became children again, pestering our Heavenly Father with “Are we there yet?” and “How much longer?”…  And no answer came.  He hadn’t left us.  We were assured of His presence in our lives.  We know His great love for us.  And since I don’t believe God ignores us… then He was telling us to WAIT.
But waiting isn’t fun.  I wanted back on the mountain top.  I remember thinking “But God!  It would be such a great testimony if all our friends could see how you Super-Naturally provide us with everything we need!” (add.. nice house, nice cars, nice job…)  Friends, the testimony… the light of Christ shining through us, should be all the greater when we live His Truths out through the hard times.  God is NOT providing the house we thought He would.  “PRAISE GOD!”  God is NOT providing that Land Rover.  (Really, that’s a silly one… But I thought it.)  God is NOT providing a job that earns enough to support our family.  “PRAISE GOD ANYWAY!”  We see our savings dwindling away… “Thank you LORD for providing that money for us for during this time of waiting!!”  I’m scared.  How long until we find ourselves homeless?  “Thank you LORD, for providing us with a family who loves us, and would take us in if necessary.  We need never be homeless.”
Hindsight.  God is good, all the time.  But sometimes… well, sometimes it’s only when we are able to look back at lessons we’ve learned through the hard times that we can see what God needed to teach us… what He needed us to surrender, in order to fulfil HIS purpose.  In us, through us… however it suits HIS Master Plan.
It’s not too hard to trust God when everything is going right.  But to trust Him when everything is going wrong… to trust Him when you can no longer see the Big Picture… That’s hard.  That takes time.  It needs to be taught through really difficult circumstances, some times.
In the hindsight a year has brought, I can now see that God blessed us by NOT allowing us to buy a house.  As more pieces of that BIG Picture are revealed, we can see why God was saying “No.”  With it brings a sort of humility… I wish I’d trusted Him more.  He DID have a plan.  This was for my GOOD!
Of COURSE it was!
I wish I hadn’t been so petty, so childish.  And I come before my Heavenly Father and ask His forgiveness.  I ask Him to help me to retain these lessons… So that when we are flying high, at the top of the Ferris Wheel again, we’ll do a better job the next time around.  Appreciate more, trust more, love more…
But more importantly, when we find ourselves at the bottom, to Trust without doubting, Pray without Ceasing, and to live that life at the bottom with JOY!  God’s GOT THIS!

Relocating to South Africa

For anyone considering relocating/returning to South Africa, here is our story. :o)

If you have been gone from South Africa for more than 10 years, your entire credit history will be wiped out. As though you had never existed.  My husband had been gone 10 years and 4 months.  Yay, US!  This made everything so much more painful!  If you are at all able to, fly to South Africa ahead of your move, and open a bank account.  Open a GAME card.  (SA's Walmart.)  If you can do this 6 months prior to your move, all the better.  By the time you arrive (perhaps with family in tow) you will have some credit history. If this isn't possible, just make it the first thing you do upon arrival.

If you are an American Citizen (or other?) the SA embassy in DC can NOT help you with your Permanent Residency paperwork.  They informed me that they could, that I should send all THAT paperwork along with my Temporary Residency paperwork.  After spending over $100 on over-night shipping, pictures, copies of notarized, important documents, return postage envelopes... they returned my certified check and a letter stating I needed to file IN South Africa.  Since none of my paperwork was returned, I assumed they were keeping it on file.
1.  The computers are in NO WAY linked.  All that paperwork was lost.
2.  Go to the Government offices as soon as you can once you arrive.  We waited 7 months,                       only to find out that my Police Clearance was only good for 6 months.  Now, they expect                             me to fly home to get an updated paper, saying that WHILE LIVING IN SA, I have                                   committed no crime in the USA.  Even better, the same person who I was trying to explain                           the absurdity of this to, is the same agent who will be approving my application.  Save                                   yourself this headache. (Only applicable if you are NOT a SA Citizen.)

We had an excellent shipping company.  For reference, it cost us about $10,000 to have a 10x20 container shipped to SA, (From Georgia) Taxes, and transport to our Storage Unit.  We had lots of help from friends, so we didn't hire a moving company to pack or load.  But Please Note:  Ask for the interior dimensions of the Container.  It matters.  I marked off segments in my house, 2 feet deep, by 8' wide, and since our ceilings were 8' tall, I lined up our storage containers and stacked them in zones.  It helped us to know ahead of time if our belongings were going to fit.  We weren't going to order a larger container, so I needed to make sure the stuff I wanted most was definitely packed, and I kept things that could be given away or donated for last.

You won't be seeing your stuff for a couple months.  I chose to buy all plastic containers at Target.  This was where I could most easily find the HEFTY containers that have snap and seal lids.  I tried to color code the bins for which part of the house they belonged to... Clear for Household, Blue for kitchen, Purple for my daughter, Green for my son, Navy for my husband...  I needed a LOT of containers.  But still, for about $400 in containers (you could probably save a bundle by buying in bulk from walmart.com) my belongings were waterproof, organized, and much easier to handle.  The bulk of our stuff went into storage for an additional 6 months, and this further protected them against any rodents/bugs/moisture.  :o)

Label like crazy!  You will also need this for customs, and it saved me so much headache having already done it!  Each bin was labeled.  I'm Jenny, so mine were J1, J2, J3... and so on.  I had a sheet in my file that then said J1-winter clothes, brown boots, winter coat... In the long run, this was MUCH better than just writing "clothes."  When you need to find something, you don't want to have to dig through a ton of bins you packed months and months ago!!

If you are coming from the US, do yourself a favor and buy some clothes and shoes for your kids for the next size up.  I'm not saying to buy new.  I'm saying, if you are already a Consignment Store/Goodwill shopper, hit THOSE racks!  Anything under $2 a pop is worth it to just set aside and pack away.  There is no shortage of cute clothes to buy over here, but you will pay full price for everything, and even sales rarely dip below 20%.  Also, I shopped Naartjie online in the US for their off-season sales.  I had bought some really cool pants for my son for $10 online, and t-shirts for $5 and since that is a name brand over here, he looked all spiffy and I had saved a LOT of money.  Also, if you are American, like me, you may have ideas about how many clothes your kids need... and mine did need that many... in the US.  :o)  I would never have brought my kids to Church in their play clothes!  But here... they do. (Which sort of makes sense since they play on the playground.. :o).) I still dress the kids for Church, but I realized I didn't need 10 dresses hanging in her closet.  2 were plenty for the season, rotated in with other outfits more casual and therefore also fitting for wear during the week.  I had about 10 pairs of shoes for my girly to coordinate with her outfits.  Here, most kids are barefoot in the summer.  I only need 1 pair of white sandels, a pair of crocks and a pair of tennis shoes to see her through the summer.  What's the point of all this?  I'm just sayin'... when planning ahead, pack extra of the basics you know you'll need.  Jeans, Tennis Shoes, shorts, t-shirts, leggings...  If you are already shopping the boutiques and you know for a fact your income here will be the same as your income there.. you can skip this step.

Speaking of income.  Without getting too personal, I would like to say a couple things.  We had dear friends that were willing to let us into their personal finances quite a LOT, that gave us a better real-world perspective.  TV, electricity, Health Care Costs, fuel, rent/mortgage.... and so on.  To give you an idea, here are some costs:
Rent/Mortgage:  For every R100,000 you mortgage, you pay R1000 per month.  (close enough.)  Rent is close to that.  So if you plan to rent a R1M home, rent will range from R9K per month, to R10K per month. (Although larger homes, say R3M, can still be rented for about R18K-R20K per month.)
Elecricity: For a 1400 square foot home, about R1000 per month.
Health Insurance: For a Hospital plan (including GAP) for a family of 4, R2700 per month.  For a full coverage plan, R4500 per month.
Fuel:  For my husband's car, R2000 per month, For my car (stay-at-home-mom) R1200 per month.
TV:  R300pm
Internet: R400pm
Security: R300pm
Food: R1000 per week (including toiletries and household)
Housekeeper: R150-R200 per day
Cell Phone: Unlimited usage (if you have your own phone) R500.  BUY or BRING a phone before you come!  We owned our I-phones (no longer under contract) so AT&T unlocked them for us, (get the codes before you move) and we've been using them here. My hubby's was lost/stolen, so we've been in the market, and it's much more expensive to buy here.

Anyway, If you are considering a big move, I hope these numbers help you to come up with a realistic budget for your family, so you can job hunt with a realistic number in mind.  One last note on this... We have made some BIG CHANGES to our budget since moving here, especially in discretionary spending. However, living in the Western Cape, we have had so much free entertainment at our disposal!  Driving 5 minutes to the beach, playing in the sand and water, and then grabbing an ice cream costs about R50.  If I get the cheap ice pops, it costs R10. :o) And in that sense, it's paradise!  Driving into the mountains and seeing the sights is a day full of adventure!  Fuel is expensive, but within 15 minutes we are in the mountains, so if we explore from that point, it's cheap.  I just say this to acknowledge that for many of us, moving back to SA is a sacrifice in income.  But the life we are living here is RICH in experience, especially for our kids. :o)  You have to have some facts to get started with, but after a year of adjustment, we are feeling quite good about the trade off.

Keep all your documents in one place for easy access.  Get extra notarized, official copies of all your important documents, just in case.  I've already gone through a number of mine.  Save getting your pictures taken (for passports, driver's licences, etc.) until you get here.  The savings is 80%.  :o)  Lastly, any labor you need, wait until you get here.  If you want a chair recovered,  draperies sewn... much cheaper here!  But if you have a favorite fabric back home, just get it before you come.  There are gorgeous fabrics here, but it takes a bit longer to find who sells them (especially when not familiar with an area) and the prices are about the same.

If you are a South African coming back... Welcome Home.  If you are an American Relocating, call me.  :o)
And I wish you all the best!!

The Fall of 2012

So, I'm trying to fill in the missing pieces, of how we got to where we are now.  And I don't want to forget the amazing things that happened along the way... So, for my own sake, I'm writing these posts.

Hubby and I went back and forth for a long time over our decision to move.  We didn't talk to too many people while we were processing everything.  Mostly, we prayed.  I felt sure and ready before Hubby, but I think he has a lot more weight on his shoulders.  For me, it was a matter of surrender..... and trust.  For Hubs, he also had the concern of supporting us under much more difficult circumstances, and protecting our family, in a place riddled with crime.
It took another middle of the night phone call for us to move forward.  MIL went back into ICU, and we felt our time was running out.  Hubby came home one day, and said to call the Realtor and get the house on the market.  He was working full time, and I know I've never worked as hard as I did those next three weeks.  Along with homeschooling the kids, and then, just keeping them alive :o), I worked hours upon hours getting our yard and house in shape to sell.  We had neglected every flower bed, every island, every shrub... well, let's face it, we were never great yard people, our excuse being we didn't know how.  Well, having to sell, you'll figure it out, and that's just what we did.  Including replacing the front porch ceiling, lots of paint, and a new flagstone walkway.  It was HARD work!
We put the house on the market on a Thursday, and that same night our Realtor was there taking pictures, Hubby had a Skype interview for a job here in South Africa, and Got The Job!!  That meant so much to our peace of mind, knowing he had work the minute we landed.  He had to start by October 20th.
Then I did the math.  Our house would have to go under contract in 3 weeks if we were to close on time, and get to SA before that deadline.  Our Realtor nearly fainted when we told her, but we just smiled and assured her she was doing a great job, and we were directing these prayers UP.
I can honestly say that through all these BIG changes in our lives, we were living on the Mountain Top, in the Spiritual Sense.  We felt God's presence in every facet of our lives.  He was leading, directing, and speaking to us as though it was His audible voice.
Friends would ask if I was ok... I'd never been better.

Writing this a year after the time gives one hindsight that I don't know if I should include at this point, or just let it reveal itself... :o)  I guess I'll just say, that since we were doing this "nice" thing in moving to help Hubby's family, and we knew God was leading us there, and we were being so submissive to His Will, it felt like once we arrived, the path would be paved in gold.  It was not...

In any case, our house sold in 3 weeks to the DAY!  God Answers Prayer!

Letter, May 2012

May 19th, 2012
So, my MILaw got sick and gave us all a good scare.
We prayed and prayed, and then decided to pick up and move to South Africa.
I wrote her this letter about our journey...
I'm putting it here for myself.  To remember.  God is good, He loves us, and He does have a plan for our lives that He is working out for His purposes.


"I want you to hear, in my own words, why I believe God may be bringing us back to South Africa.  I want to tell you this so you don't think its just a whim, or wishful thinking, and that it will pass once you are better again.

There have been 3 things holding me back from wanting to move to SA.  1. Anxiety over the safety of my children.  2. Not feeling comfortable sending our children to school in a "foreign" country.  (I know that must sound odd.  :o))  3. Not wanting to leave our Church where we feel so connected, have an amazing friend base, and have grown so much since being there.

1. In November, just before we left to come to SA for Christmas, 2 tragic things happened.  A friend died in a motorcycle accident, and my friend lost her full-term baby for no reason.  (And then another dear friend lost her baby.)  Those events were awful.  With them came the realization that I can panic all the time over my kids' safety, but God ultimately is the giver and taker of life.  I can't control everything.  I had to give those fears over to God. For the first time since having my children, I was able to ENJOY being in SA with them.

2. You know our reasons to home-school, and how they had nothing to do with South Africa.  However, our decision to home-school completely takes care of my (unreasonable) fear in that regard.

3.  The week before you (Mom) got sick, A pastor from Fish Hoek, South Africa was a guest speaker at our Church here in the States.  It was FANTASTIC! While his church probably isn't close enough to be our home church, it showed us that what God has provided for us here (in a strong church family, dear friends..) He can provide for us in SA as well.

If this is truly God's Will for us, we are praying that He would provide Arno with a job that would support our family. We both understand that SA is a two-income household out of necessity.  We are praying for a miracle.  If these last 3 weeks have taught us anything, it's that God is a God of Miracles!  That nothing is impossible for Him!  I am excited to see where He is taking us.  I feel like we are seeing the path being paved, we just don't know yet where it's leading, or what doors will be opened along the way.

God has blessed us by giving us the past 10 years with my family during a time when we REALLY needed it.  (For many reasons I won't list here.  :o))

Now, it is our heart's desire to be with all of you, when we know you need us. We want you to pray along with us, for God's provision.  For us to be Steadfast in pursuing (and surrendering to) God's Will for our lives."

May 2012